Resume Humor

RESUMANIA

"Resumania" is a term to describe the unintentional bloopers that often
appear on job candidates' resumes, job applications and cover letters. Here
are some examples:

"I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and
expertise."
(And an eye on the "e" section of the dictionary, evidently)

"Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually
inseparable."
(Glad to hear it)

"I am very detail-oreinted."
(With the possible exception of spelling)

"I can play well with others."
(We'll be sure to tell your mommy)

"Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."
(A new twist on work-family balance)

"Objection: To utilize my skills in sales."
(Have you considered law school?)

"My salary requirement is $34 per year."
(They say money isn't everything)

"Served as assistant sore manager."
(Ouch)

"I vow to fulfill the goals of the company as long as I live."
(And they say loyalty is hard to come by)

"Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's
girlfriend could steal my job."
(We're glad you're not bitter)