Lamp Humor

A man was on a beach when he discovered an old lamp in the sand. He rubbed it and a genie popped out.

The genie said "I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is that you cannot wish for more wishes."

"Alright," said the man, "I wish for more genies."

Ostrich Humor

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the
ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be
$9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out
the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
"A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks
the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will
be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places
it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse
me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact
change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered
me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for
anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount
of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask
for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as
you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce,
the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall
chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Genie Humor

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an
old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and
out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle.
In return I will grant you three wishes."

The man says, "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know
exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a
Swiss bank account."

POOF! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with
account numbers appears in his hand.

He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right
here."

POOF! There is a flash of light and a bright red Ferrari
appears.

He continues, "Finally, I want to be irrestible to women."

POOF! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box
of chocolates.

Genie Humor

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an
old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and
out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle.
In return I will grant you three wishes."

The man says, "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know
exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a
Swiss bank account."

POOF! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with
account numbers appears in his hand.

He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right
here."

POOF! There is a flash of light and a bright red Ferrari
appears.

He continues, "Finally, I want to be irrestible to women."

POOF! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box
of chocolates.