The Texas A&M football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not suppose to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into this eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate......what is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "Four?"
"Four"?!?" the coach exclaimed .... excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance."
Showing posts with label Sports Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sports Humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, October 17, 2011
Baseball Quotes
"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up I change bats. . . After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?" Yogi Berra
"Why does everybody stand up and sing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' when they're already there?" Larry Anderson
"Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona." George F. Will, Men at Work: The Craft of Baseball, 1990
"A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours." Ray Fitzgerald, in Boston Glove, 1970
"The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up." Bob Uecker
"I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium." ~Author Unknown
"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." Greg, age 8
"Why does everybody stand up and sing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' when they're already there?" Larry Anderson
"Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona." George F. Will, Men at Work: The Craft of Baseball, 1990
"A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours." Ray Fitzgerald, in Boston Glove, 1970
"The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up." Bob Uecker
"I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium." ~Author Unknown
"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." Greg, age 8
Monday, April 4, 2011
Baseball Humor
Two 90-year-old men, Moe and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Moe visits him every day. One day Moe says, "Joe, we both loved baseball all our lives, and we played minor league ball together for so many years. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's baseball there."
Joe looks up at Moe from his deathbed, "Moe, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you." Shortly after that, Joe passes on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Moe is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Moe, Moe."
"Who is it?" asks Moe, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Moe -- it's me, Joe."
"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice.
"Joe! Where are you?"
"In Heaven," replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Moe.
"The good news," Joe says, "is that there IS baseball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired."
"That's fantastic," says Moe. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"
"You're pitching Tuesday."
Joe looks up at Moe from his deathbed, "Moe, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you." Shortly after that, Joe passes on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Moe is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Moe, Moe."
"Who is it?" asks Moe, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Moe -- it's me, Joe."
"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice.
"Joe! Where are you?"
"In Heaven," replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Moe.
"The good news," Joe says, "is that there IS baseball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired."
"That's fantastic," says Moe. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"
"You're pitching Tuesday."
Friday, January 15, 2010
Football Humor
By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked.
"I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game."
"How long could that have taken you?"
"Well, I had to toss it 14 times."
"I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game."
"How long could that have taken you?"
"Well, I had to toss it 14 times."
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Super Bowl Humor
A sports fan was sitting in the top row at the Super Bowl, barely able to see the field. He noticed a vacant seat about 3 rows back on the 50-yard line. It was still vacant when the second quarter started, so he went down and asked the man seated next to it if anyone was sitting there.
The man said "No, have a seat." A few minutes later he asked the man if he knew whose seat this was and why they weren't here at such an important event. The man said that for ten years it had been his wife's seat but that she had passed away.
Feeling sorry for the nice man, the fan asked if he didn't have a friend or family member that he could have offered the seat to instead of just leaving it vacant. The man said "No, they're all at the funeral."
The man said "No, have a seat." A few minutes later he asked the man if he knew whose seat this was and why they weren't here at such an important event. The man said that for ten years it had been his wife's seat but that she had passed away.
Feeling sorry for the nice man, the fan asked if he didn't have a friend or family member that he could have offered the seat to instead of just leaving it vacant. The man said "No, they're all at the funeral."
Monday, December 21, 2009
Teamwork Humor
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is and what a teamwork is all about?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what really matters is not whether we win or lose, but that we play together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"Good," the coach continued. "And, when a strike is called, or you're thrown out at first, you don't argue, curse, attack the umpire with a bat, or throw dirt in the opposing team members face. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded, "Well, sure, coach. That's what you taught us."
"Good," said the coach. "Now, please go over there and explain all that to your mother."
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what really matters is not whether we win or lose, but that we play together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"Good," the coach continued. "And, when a strike is called, or you're thrown out at first, you don't argue, curse, attack the umpire with a bat, or throw dirt in the opposing team members face. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded, "Well, sure, coach. That's what you taught us."
"Good," said the coach. "Now, please go over there and explain all that to your mother."
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