Monday, June 18, 2012

Father Humor

A father of five children came home with a new toy. He summoned his children and asked which of them should be given the present: "Who is the most obedient one here? Who never talks back to Mom and does everything that Mom says to do?" There were a few seconds of silence, and then all of the children said in one accord: "So you get it, Daddy??!"

Monday, June 4, 2012

Internet Dating Service Humor

A young lady signed up on an Internet dating service. She got to the section of the application that asked "What exactly are you looking for?" This was her description: "He needs to be good-looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." In a matter of moments, the results were returned to the woman: "Buy a television."

Flying Humor

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a major fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. Sure enough, when he arrived at the small rural airport, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"