Harmonica Humor

"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for my birthday," little Joshua said to his uncle. "It's the best present I ever got." "That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?" "Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow replied. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night!"

Music Director Humor

There was a church where the pastor and the minister of music were not getting along. As time went by, this began to spill over into the worship service.

The first week the pastor preached on commitment and how we all should dedicate ourselves to the service of God. The music director led the song, "I Shall Not Be Moved."

The second week the pastor preached on tithing and how we all should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The director led the song, "Jesus Paid it All."

The third week the pastor preached on gossiping and how we should all watch our tongues. The music director led the song, "I Love to Tell the Story."

With all this going on, the pastor became very disgusted over the situation and the following Sunday told the congregation that he was considering resigning. The musician led the song, "Oh Why Not Tonight?"

As it came to pass, the pastor did indeed resign. The next week he informed the church that it was Jesus who led him there and it was Jesus who was taking him away. The music leader led the song, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus."

Choir Humor

THINGS PEOPLE THINK ABOUT WHILE SINGING IN THE CHOIR

~ I wonder if anyone out there notices I forgot my lipstick this morning.

~ I wonder who in the congregation will fall asleep first today?

~ 90 minutes till kickoff.

~ Boy, I wish I had/hadn't skipped choir practice Wednesday night.

~ Why are there 666 hymns in the new Baptist Hymnal? Surely they realized the significance of that number. You'd think someone would have noticed and added or subtracted one.

~ I wonder what would happen if the congregation moved up here, and we moved down in the sanctuary? Would the Pastor preach to us or turn around and preach to them?

~ Why don't we ever sing the third verse? We should skip the second verse for a change.

~ Will the person behind me ever hit the right note?

~ And to think the tune of this grand old hymn used to be to a British drinking song. I wonder what the original words were?

~ Did I turn off the curling iron?

~ How would the hymn sound if Metallica played it?

~ I wonder who ate all the jelly doughnuts before Sunday School fellowship this morning?

Birthday Humor

A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang "Happy Birthday" to him.

But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number. "Don't let it bother you," said a strange but amused voice. "You folks need all the practice you can get."