Lipstick Humor

A certain private school was faced with a unique problem: A number of junior high girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the janitor would remove them; and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the janitor. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the janitor who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, the principal asked the janitor to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet water, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirrors.

Dorm Humor

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"

Exam Humor

In the examination paper, the professor wanted the students to sign a form stating that they had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The professor carefully studied the answer page and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."

Test Humor

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to
party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up
telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before
due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study.
The professor told them that they could have another day to study.
That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure
that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go
to two separate classrooms to take the exam. Each boy just
shrugged and went to two different parts of the building.
As each sat down, they read the directions:
"For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom. For 95 points,
tell me WHICH tire it was!"