Friday, June 21, 2013

House Humor

"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north." "What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer. "The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A DAD SAY Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!! What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating's not good enough for you, son? Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.