Pilot Humor

RULES OF THE AIR FOR PILOTS

~ Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

~ If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

~ It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

~ When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

~ A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

~ Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

~ Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

~ There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

~ You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of

~ Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

~ Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

~ Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

~ The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you and a tenth of a second ago.

~ There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.