Eulogy Humor

Two brothers had terrorized a small town for decades. They were unfaithful to their wives, abusive to their children, and dishonest in business. The younger brother died unexpectedly.

The surviving brother went to the pastor of the local church. “I’d like you to conduct my brother’s funeral,” he said, “but it’s important to me that during the service, you tell everyone my brother was a saint.”

“But he was far from that,” the minister countered.

The wealthy brother pulled out his checkbook.

“Reverend, I’m prepared to give $100,000 to your church. All I’m asking you to do is to state publicly that my brother was a saint.”

On the day of the funeral, the pastor began his eulogy this way. “Everyone here knows that the deceased was a wicked man, a womanizer, and a drunk. He terrorized his employees and cheated on his taxes.” The he paused. “But as evil and sinful as this man was, compared to his older brother, he was a saint.”