A guy missed getting his wife anything for Valentine's Day. He came home and she was furious. She told him that the only way he could make it up to her was that tomorrow morning there had better be something in the garage that went from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds.
Sure enough, the next morning she awoke and her husband was not in bed. She looked in the garage and her car was gone, but there was a small package on the floor. She ran over, opened the package, and there it was - a bathroom scale!