New Year's Resolutions Humor

"I hereby resolve to:"
• Watch more television -it IS the "window into the world", right?

• Wear something other than sweat pants to the grocery store

• Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again.

• Stop procrastinating ... (I think I just might start next month).

• Enjoy the sweeter side of life - M&Ms, Hershey kisses, candy corns, and cheesecake and ...

• Read something this year ... other than the comics.

• Drive myself to the fitness center when I feel like going from now on ... because walking there makes me perspire.

• Stop leaving my dirty gym socks lying in the middle of the floor. I'll leave them on the kitchen table, where they're easier to reach.

• Kick the caffeine habit - hey, why does my over-sized coffee mug smell like sweaty socks?

• Read those books I bought 5 years ago on "how to improve my memory" ... I keep forgetting to read them.

• Be more decisive ... I'll absolutely try to attempt to think about resolving to be more decisive, if I possibly can.

• Quit making those SAME excuses ... I make the same excuses each year, why I'll do better next year, and it's getting pretty old - this year I resolve to come up with some new excuses instead.

(From http://www.businesstune-ups.com/Funny-New-Years-Resolutions.html)