Things Dogs Must Remember

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm
lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE
entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's
laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher
or trash can.

I will not take off while on leash to chase squirrels while
Mommy is standing on a slippery grass slope.