Actual Questions Asked at Libraries

ACTUAL QUESTIONS ASKED AT LIBRARIES

~ "Do you have books here?"

~ "Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"

~ "Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"

~ "I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book, 'Waltzing through Grand Rapids.'" (Actual title wanted: "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.")

~ "Do you have that book by Rushdie: 'Satanic Nurses'?" (Actual title: "Satanic Verses")

~ "Where is the reference desk?" (This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign saying "REFERENCE DESK"!)

~ "I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?"

~ "Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hair dryer?"

~ "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?"

~ "Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"

~ "I need a color photograph of Socrates."

~ "I need a photocopy of Booker T. Washington's birth certificate."

~ "I need to find out Ibid's first name for my bibliography."

~ "Why don't you have any books by Ibid? He's written a lot of important stuff."

~ "Is the basement upstairs?" (Asked at first floor reference desk)

~ "I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months."