Coin Humor

The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother
ran out in the street yelling for help. A man passing by took the boy by his
shoulders and hit him with a few strong strokes on the back, and he coughed
the coin out.

"I don't know how to thank you, doctor," his mother started.

"I'm not a doctor," the man replied. "I'm from the IRS."

More IRS Humor

The local bar was so sure that it’s bartender was the strongest man around that they had a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.

Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time, but nobody could do it.

One day, a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit.

“I’d like to try the bet,” he said in a tiny, squeaky voice. After the laughter had died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.

He handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000 and asked the little man what he did for a living. Was he a lumberjack, or a weightlifter, or what?

“I work for the IRS”, replied the small wrinkled man.

IRS Humor

A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man who had recently become a Christian wrote the following letter to the IRS:

"I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income last year and have enclosed a check for $1,150. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."

IRS Humor

Dear IRS,

Enclosed is my 2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029), bringing my total remitted to $3429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 1.5" Phillips Head screw (article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws is enclosed for your convenience.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer

Tax Humor

There's a banging on old Joe's country shack in the middle of the night. He gets up, rubs his eyes, opens the door: It is the Grim Reaper grinning and pointing at him.

"You come with me!"

"Oh," old Joe says, "am I glad to see you. I thought it was the IRS."